Always indebted to the Lord

Saturday, I enjoyed a most special experience, two small gestures that reminded me how wonderful it is to be in the service of the Lord and how we are always indebted to Him.

I was on my way to meet up with a couple of friends at Starbucks. Since it was downtown, I had to park about a ½ block from the store.  As I crossed the street, there was a homeless man sitting on a planter.  I smiled and acknowledged him and started to continue down the street. He shouted to me, “Hey Blondie! Have some change to spare?” The ‘Hey Blondie’ made me smile, and without hesitation, I turned around and said, “I sure do.” I pulled out my wallet and the first thing I saw was a $10 bill. I paused for about a ½ second and then gave it to him. He was shaking as he took the bill from me. He looked at it, then at me and said, “This is $10, are you sure?” I smiled and said yes. He told me how many meals it would give him at McDonald’s and that was his favorite place to eat. I told him to enjoy every meal, that I hoped he found a warm place to sleep that night, and then continued on my way. As I walked, I smiled and thanked the Lord for the experience.  You see, normally, my first instinct is to question how someone like that would use the money and did they truly need or deserve it. This is a weakness of mine, which I have been trying to overcome. Jeff sets a wonderful example for me and I admire him so much – anytime he sees a homeless person in need, he gives – without hesitation or reserve, he gives. I’ve brought this up to him several times and he always tells me that we are blessed and are in a position to give, so we should. I’ve been trying for quite some time to be able to give without an internal dialogue trying to convince myself; it has been a process that I have to think through every time I’m faced with it. This was the first time I did it without thought; I did it because I knew it was right and it was such a wonderful feeling!

While in Starbucks, we girls were just chatting away. One had just had a baby and we were oodling over him. We ended up chatting about adoption and the highs and lows the process brings; the desire to have babies and how hard it is to accept sometimes that the Lord’s time is not always ours. The whole time, I noticed four people across the way who continued to look our direction and whisper. After about 15 minutes or so, one of the women approached us and asked how old the baby was. His mom let the woman know and she chatted a minute or so about what blessings children were and we all agreed; by this time her friends had come over.  This is when the woman told us the four of them were on a special scavenger hunt. Me, being true to form, joked, “Well, if a baby is on your list, you’re not getting this one!” They all laughed and she said they were on a scavenger hunt for God and that I fit their list with my blonde hair and brown boots. She asked if there was anything I was in need of that they could pray for on my behalf. I said yes and told them about our desire to adopt and that we were waiting for a birth mom to select us and gave each of them a pass along card. They asked my one friend about how she was healing after giving birth, and then they asked my other friend if she was struggling with anything and she told them of her desire to have children as well. The woman asked to pray for all of us and we agreed. Three of the women took turns praying on our behalves. They pray for each of us individually and asked the Lord to bless us; I felt the sincerity of their words and the Spirit enveloped us as they prayed.  When they finished, I thanked them for being willing to act as the Lord prompted them and the blessings we received by them doing so. With that, they said their good-byes and left the store. It was an amazing experience that I feel blessed to have been a part of. 

I love the different ways the Lord blesses our lives and lets us know He is aware of us and loved us - we just have to take the time to look and say thank you!

Happy Christmas!

We had some fun creating a Christmas video...hope you enjoy it:

Something Bigger

We started handing out our pass along cards about a week and a half ago. Once again I am in awe of what I am learning and privilege to experience.

At first, I thought it would be awkward to hand this card to a person and ask them to pass it along to help our birth mom find us; it has been quite the opposite experience. I have received so much encouragement and support. Jeff and I have heard so many adoption stories, each one so unique and special. I find myself drawn into each story and so excited and honored that these people are willing to share with me.

We traveled to California for the holiday and this pattern continued. As we talked with people, we found ourselves expressing a desire to share the cards not only for our benefit, but for the awareness it could bring to a potential birth parent and the chance it might give to any adoptive couple.

We have realized again this experience is once again not only about us. We find ourselves part of something bigger and wanting to help make adoption possible for anyone whose life it might benefit. This just gets better and better!

We are loved

This has been one of the most humbling weeks I've ever experienced. We have been grateful for technology and its speed in allowing us to communicate when Jeff is away, but this week that speed took on a whole new meaning.


I emailed several family and friends and posted on Facebook the news of us getting approved and ask everyone to spread the word to help a birth mom find us.
 

The messages we received of encouragement, love, and support were wonderful. I was in awe of the number of people who offered to pray on our behalf for the Lord to quickly bless our home with a child. Within an hour of posting on Facebook, several friends had forwarded our message on to their pages. I saw our news and request spread through the country and even parts of the world within two hours. Only ten years ago, maybe even five, this speed of communication would have been unheard of. While the gestures may seem small to some and merely seconds to perform, their impact is immeasurable.


This week also taught me a valuable lesson. Whenever I hear someone is in need, they become part of our prayers. We do it out of love for them and our hearts go to them. The piece I have been missing in this gesture is I rarely tell the people I pray for I am doing so and what they mean to me. This week to feel such an outpour of love was humbling and gave me so much in the form of strength, faith, and pure joy.  This continues each time someone else hears our news and offers to join in the effort. This is something I need to pay forward from now on, so that others can know we support them and they can feel what I’ve felt from our loved ones.

We're Approved!!!

We found out last night we are finally, officially approved for adoption!!! Woo hoo!!!!  The last six months have gone so slow at times; it felt like this day would never come.  All in the Lord's time, right…

I have to admit, there have been many little miracles along the way. At the beginning, we were told we would see the hand of the Lord work in ways we've never experienced, and we have. Here are four of the “big” little miracles I’m willing to share.

Miracle #1: We had decided last November we would start the adoption process in a year and a half (Spring 2012), when Jeff returned from his next deployment. Well, in the April 2011 Ensign magazine there was an article about couples struggling with infertility and their path to adoption. A comment by one of the couples featured stood out to us. They spoke of how they “actively waited for their children” by educating themselves as much as possible about adoption and what they needed to do to be prepared; we decided we needed to do this too. We called LDS Family Services and scheduled to attend their next orientation at the end of April. By the end of the orientation, we felt the overwhelming impression we shouldn’t wait and we needed to start now. Jeff was leaving the next week for three months, so time was extremely tight. We managed to get everything required by Jeff for us to be approved for adoption done before he left.

Miracle #2: My change of heart. At the orientation, when we were told LDS Family Services did open adoptions, I was very uncomfortable with the idea of having an open relationship with the birth family. I saw this child as mine and I didn’t want to share. I hesitantly agreed to move forward because if this is the way the Church did it, there must be something to it. A few days later, I was thinking about the birth mom and this amazing wave of love for her and her family swept over me. I thought about the love it must take to give up a child and the heartache such a decision would bring. I thought about the grandparents and the sacrifice they would be making. I realized this was not just about me and my family, but the birth family as well. I understood why open adoption is so good – it allowed them to heal and feel peace about their decision.

Miracle #3: Jeff’s deployment got cancelled. This allowed us to complete everything required to be approved for adoption. Had he deployed before we were approved, our file would have been placed on hold until his return.

Miracle #4: While Jeff’s cancelled deployment was wonderful, it caused a financial problem. We had planned for the extra pay that comes with deployment to be what we used to save for the adoption fees. For about a week we were unsure where we were going to come up with the money now that he was not deploying. We redid our budget several times and always came up short; we prayed for an answer. Jeff decided to go by the retention office, even though his reenlistment window was not open. He spoke with the retention officer and learned of a way his reenlistment window could open. We agreed to it, and his signing bonus was just enough to cover our projected adoption fees. We now had the money eight months sooner than we had originally planned.

Now it's time to (im)paitently wait for a birth mom to find us...